What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
