meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you inspire me to be a worse person
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
