I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Still dying that you shit outside
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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