come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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