I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
