He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
