so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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