All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
