alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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