I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
