his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
