yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
