I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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