K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
