Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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