ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
