at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
