he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
pray to the hookup gods
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
