Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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