so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize