Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
