i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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