how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
