when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
These tits shall not be calmed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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