I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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