I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
