Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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