My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
