well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
