My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
