its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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