Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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