It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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