the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize