i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
