Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize