I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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