ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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