Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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