why didn't you poke me back
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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