Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
