Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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