You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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