He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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