And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
