Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We left an ass print on the piano.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Randomize
