You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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