I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have surprise drugs for everyone
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
