Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
