Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
