Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
