If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
