the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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