I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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