He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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