somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
